It's a secret that could tear them apart and send the world a flutter with gossip and accusations. Honestly, it's all just a bit too much to ever let the world hear about. In the end, this would lead to more than a few people enraged, and certainly a couple who would attempt bodily harm on their object of rage (Belarus, he thinks. England, America...).
So no, it's not a thing Russia likes to think of often.
But is that really bad in this case? Because while it's not healthy and it only fuels Russia's illusion, it's something the both of them need to some degree. They're both starved for attention, for love, and though this might not be what they really want....it doesn't actually hurt does it? So they can meet and touch and maybe even love and it might all be shrouded in secrecy and lies but in the end they both knew that's what they were getting into.
And sometimes Russia finds it hard to lie to himself. Canada is really, nothing like America after all. But he's just as spirited and sometimes Russia thinks he can be more at ease than America would ever let him be. But it doesn't stop the fact that America is the one he wanted, the one he couldn't have, and Canada is still the one he finds in his bed willingly.
Sometimes he'll find himself watching those pretty eyes haze and glimmer with emotion and whisper Canada's name in his ear, all tied up in the ribbons of his own language, little messages hidden, just as secretive as they are. And isn't that a thought? But that's not the here and the now, so while Canada settles his newspaper aside and touches his shoulder, Russia blinks and shakes the heavy thoughts from his mind.
"Ah, it's nothing. An idle thought is all." He smiles and in a move that halfway surprises himself, reaches up to catch Canada's hand in his own, slip his fingers in the span between Canada's. There's a pause and Russia blinks at their joined hands though he does little about it. How odd.
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So no, it's not a thing Russia likes to think of often.
But is that really bad in this case? Because while it's not healthy and it only fuels Russia's illusion, it's something the both of them need to some degree. They're both starved for attention, for love, and though this might not be what they really want....it doesn't actually hurt does it? So they can meet and touch and maybe even love and it might all be shrouded in secrecy and lies but in the end they both knew that's what they were getting into.
And sometimes Russia finds it hard to lie to himself. Canada is really, nothing like America after all. But he's just as spirited and sometimes Russia thinks he can be more at ease than America would ever let him be. But it doesn't stop the fact that America is the one he wanted, the one he couldn't have, and Canada is still the one he finds in his bed willingly.
Sometimes he'll find himself watching those pretty eyes haze and glimmer with emotion and whisper Canada's name in his ear, all tied up in the ribbons of his own language, little messages hidden, just as secretive as they are. And isn't that a thought? But that's not the here and the now, so while Canada settles his newspaper aside and touches his shoulder, Russia blinks and shakes the heavy thoughts from his mind.
"Ah, it's nothing. An idle thought is all." He smiles and in a move that halfway surprises himself, reaches up to catch Canada's hand in his own, slip his fingers in the span between Canada's. There's a pause and Russia blinks at their joined hands though he does little about it. How odd.